Men do not know what it is like to be a woman, simply because they are not one. Through many years of coaching woman, and researching all the complexities of the physiology of the female, it is no secret that being a woman is fundamentally harder. Im going to run you through some of the reasons why in the hope that men can have a little more empathy for women, and also so you ladies out there can drop the self-judgement and give yourself some credit.
Firstly we have the Menstrual Cycle. So every female out there that has a menstrual cycle, which is most of you I hope that are pre-menopausal, have undulating hormonal levels across the cycle itself. With these levels rising and dropping, we experience the effects pretty immediately. Im going to outline a few main points regarding the cycle and how it may effect females physiologically, psychologically, cognitively, or emotionally.
At the very basic level, let’s split the cycle into two separate phases, the first phase (2 weeks - follicular phase) and the second phase (2 weeks - luteal phase). The first two weeks of the cycle sees estrogen being the dominant hormone that is known to be the ‘female’ hormone and will come with a few helpful effects on a journey of physical improvement. For the sake of most of this article, I’m going to relate the effects to a journey of bettering either your body or your strength and well-being.
Firstly let’s discuss some of the effects of estrogen and how that will play out in the first couple of weeks of the female menstrual cycle.
Appetite Suppressant
Improves Blood Sugar Regulation
Promotes Sleep Quality
Anti-Depressant Properties
Anti-Anxiety Properties
Any female experiencing the beneficial effects of this hormone during a pursuit of physical well-being, improve body composition or simply an increase in strength will certainly not hinder their attempt. However this is not lasting. As ladies enter the luteal phase and start to produce more progesterone, it can become somewhat harder in more ways that just physical. I want to explain the physical effects, the psychological effects and how the physical effects can even start to play with our emotional state. Its extremely tough to navigate, I’d imagine.
Progesterone has the following effects;
Increased appetite
Reduced ability to handle sugar
Water retention
Reduced motivation, serotonin and dopamine.
And the opposite to all of the estrogenic effects.
So we can empathise with the ladies much more knowing that roughly on a bi-monthly basis, they are going to be shifting in and out of these physiological hormonal states all the time. It’s important to realise a couple of things. All of the above have no direct relationship with a change in body composition, but at the same time they have a profound influence on the ease or difficulty of navigating the process. Its those last few weeks in the menstrual cycle and certainly the last week where some people will experience some less desirable effects during a week where PMS (Pre-Menstrual Syndrome) might be present. The toughest part for females that I coach is the lack of understanding around their own cycle, and knowing why such things are happening. Things like motivation dropping, weight gain occurring and strength decreasing throughout certain periods of the month. These points don’t directly affect anything. We must understand that. Low motivation doesn’t mean your journey has taken a hit, scale weight increase doesn’t mean you’ve gained 1kg pot fat, and decreasing strength at some points doesn’t mean all of your other efforts are redundant. The real issue then arises when women blame themselves. They think its their own fault and they are too quick to self-judge. “Im just not strong enough”, or “I messed up my diet because I gained 1kg”. I give you permission to blame mother nature, and the reproductive system, because if you know your habits are done, your training and food has been not too dissimilar to the norm, then noting is going to happen. The effect of self-judgement and blame when actually it was something totally out of your control means you may actually start incorporating unhelpful behaviours because you’re so frustrated at yourself for gaining weight when actually it was mother nature.
Like with every female client I coach, with the more experience I gain, and the longer time I work with someone, the more I can predict the outcome of their behaviours. More often than not, I can confidently say I expect 1kg of weight gain this week from you, but this is why, and if you continue to carry out your normal, helpful behaviours by training as normal, eating as normal or whatever helpful behaviours you do, then you will be rewarded in a weeks time, as you see the water retention drop and also see the benefits of another good week exercising and eating as you normally would.
The menopause is even harder. So for the women going through that, read on.
With Estrogen eliciting so many helpful effects when it comes to your well-being journey, such as; reduced appetite, higher motivation, improved sleep, improved blood sugar regulation and anti-depressive and anxiolytic effects, pre-menopause, your journey will be undoubtedly smoother sailing.
When females hit the menopause Estrogen goes awol. It goes and down and round and round that some days you may feel the desire to train and eat well and others you just want ti lie in bed all day. It is what it is. So unless you and your doctor decide you are going to go on hormone replacement therapy, and that HRT actually clears all negative side effects, the journey through the menopause is going to be more difficult.
So, as Estrogen drops we start to see these unhelpful situations occurring;
Reduction in the control of your appetite
Difficulty regulating body temperature
Sleepless nights
Higher levels of Anxiety
Higher instances of feeling depressed
Lower motivation & mood, due to reduced serotonin and dopamine
Change in fat deposition from the legs and bum, to the stomach.
Increased emotional instability.
So now try navigating a day on your well-being journey when you’ve had a rubbish night sleep, your hungry as hell, anxiety is through the roof, you find yourself crying over being in traffic, no motivation to go to the gym and start to see your stomach growing by the day. It’s going to be tough, no doubt. But again, let’s not try to resist mother nature. And lets certainly not fall into the trap of self-judgement once again, none of this is your fault, so stop blaming yourself, stop telling yourself you’re just not disciplined enough, stop telling yourself you’ll never achieve what you want because of the menopause. Its hard to see what was once to easy, not difficult. It is hard to accept that you no longer have the body you once did, of course it is. But does this narrative and language help you commit to improving your life and start to see a positive change? I would assert it doesn’t help one bit. So you have a choice. You can blame the world, you can become victim to all the circumstances and become utterly powerless. Thats fine, it doesn’t affect me, nor anyone else. It’s just keeps you where you are. If you’re ok with that, crack on.
Or we can choose to create the possibility of betterment. It’s available. Your journey ahead involves the acceptance that it’s going to be more difficult, and you can’t do anything about that. It’s the acceptance that your body will look, feel and maybe perform differently. However there is always opportunity to be better than yesterday, and it’s in your power to be able to do that. If you continue the self-judgement, external blame and stay within the confinements of being powerless, then I can’t see things improving for you. If you keep your expectations too high and aim for the impossible, then you will experience failure, and that doesn’t feel too good, and certainly doesn’t inspire you to becoming better. It just is going to be harder for you, to be able to do exercise if you haven’t slept very well, to limit the food intake when appetite is higher, and to not act impulsively when emotional instability is present. Unfortunately a lot of the effects of lacking estrogen will make day to day well-being tasks less desirable to do.
So here’s some helpful ways that you can navigate your journey, in a way that sees progress, not stagnation.
Most importantly drop the self-judgement, stop criticising your-self and stop the negative self-talk
Maybe lower your expectations so you can succeed in progressing towards lower expectation, rather than falling with your higher ones. Too many people are too busy failing at the attempt to be perfect, that they can’t even achieve what was possible.
Understand that progress is still available.
Start with intended actions that you know are realistic and achievable then build on it.
Control what you can control, don’t get caught up on the things you can’t.
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